 |
|
 |
 |
|||
 |
Is domestic violence really such a big problem? Isn't domestic violence mostly a low-income or minority issue? Don't most victims ask for it? Is Domestic violence intergenerational? Does Domestic Violence affect children? How are animal abuse and Domestic Violence linked? What effect does substance abuse have in a violent relationship? Refuge House, Inc. Administration Phone Email |
 |
Battering is a pattern of behavior that seeks to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation. It often includes the threat or use of violence. Battering happens when batterers believe they are entitled to control their partners. They believe that the violence is acceptable and will produce the desired results. Not all battering is physical. Battering includes emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, threats to and about children, using "male privilege," intimidation, isolation and other behaviors used to induce fear and establish power. Battering escalates. It may begin with name-calling, punching a wall or kicking a pet. The next steps may be pushing, slapping, pinching, kicking, biting, tripping, throwing or restraining. It often includes sexual assault. It may lead to choking, the breaking of bones and other life threatening incidents. Is domestic violence really such a big problem? In this country, a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped or killed by a male partner than by any other type of assailant. Domestic violence is believed to be the most common, yet least reported crime in our nation. The U.S. Surgeon General has identified domestic abuse as a major health problem to women. Wife-beating results in more injuries that require medical treatment than rape, auto accidents and muggings combined. Each year, their husbands or partners kill more than 1,000 women (approximately four women per day). Domestic violence is indeed a serious national problem that affects not only individual victims, but the entire community as well. Isn't domestic violence mostly a low-income or minority issue? Domestic violence occurs among all sectors of society. It happens to people of all racial, economic, and religious groups. For example, police in the mostly white, upper-class Washington, D.C. suburb of Montgomery County, Maryland received the same amount of domestic disturbance calls as did Harlem, New York City during the same time period. However, low-income battered women are more likely to seek assistance from public agencies, such as shelters and hospital emergency rooms, because they have fewer private recourses than middle and upper income women. They are therefore more likely to be counted in official reporting statistics. Don't most victims ask for it? Battered women are the victims of violence; they do not provoke or deserve such treatment. Typically, abusers blame their victims for provoking violence because of verbal abuse. Although verbal abuse may cause anger, it does not provoke or justify violence. How a person deals with that anger is a choice-some people choose violence. Only the violent party is responsible for the abuse. Is Domestic violence intergenerational? There is evidence that violence may pass from generation to generation. Children who witness their mothers being abused are more likely as adults, to batter their partners than children raised in a nonviolent home. However, not all people who batter were raised in violent homes, so this is only a partial explanation of why some people choose to use violence. On the other hand, there is no evidence that girls whose mothers were battered are more likely to be battered themselves. In fact, the only common factor among battering victims is that they are usually female. Does Domestic Violence affect children? Children are often victims of domestic abuse, either through witnessing acts of violence against other family members or suffering abuse themselves. Biological and physical signs that a child may be experiencing violence at home include headaches, upset stomach, ear aches, rashes, poor hygiene, frequent illness, recurring injuries, fast breathing and heart rate, bed wetting, nail biting, hyper activity, and trembling. Some of the emotional and psychological signs of abuse are depression, low self-esteem, phobias, compulsivity, use of alcohol or drugs, self-mutilation, insomnia, extreme sensitivity, repression or denial, and minimization or rationalization. Oftentimes, children will be aggressive, refuse to comply with requests, act out, and/or rebel. Some children become passive, shy and do not make friends. They may show an intense interest in violence and weapons, even reconstructing scenes of violence. Girls raised in an abusive home learn that male violence is "normal" and that violence is just a part of relationships. Boys raised in the same home learn that women do not deserve respect and have confusion or insecurity about being a male. How are animal abuse and domestic violence linked? To most of us, our pets are our friends and companions. However, to some they are a tool used to exert power and control over a partner. Batterers use pets by threatening to harm the family pets if their partner doesn't do what they want or if their partner tries to leave. In 3 surveys of women's shelters in Wisconsin and Utah, an average of 74% of pet owning women reported that a pet had been threatened, injured, or killed by their abuser (Ascione 1995, 1997 and Quinlisk 1995). A survey of women in shelter in Utah found 20% delayed leaving the abusive situation out of fear their pet would be harmed. In Canada, almost 50% delayed leaving (Ascione 1997). Looking for signs of animal cruelty can often lead to the discovery of abuse against other members of the family. Some of the signs to look for in cases of animal abuse include unexplained injuries and bruises, behavior changes, failure to thrive and grow, hostility, and a desperation to please. If you suspect abuse, you can ask the children about their pet-who takes care of it, has it ever gotten hurt, & how is the pet taught to be good. You can also question adults about the batterer's behavior toward the animals-has your partner ever threatened the pets, have your children ever harmed your pets, do they worry about their pet's safety, and have they delayed leaving due to concern for their pet? What effect does substance abuse have in a violent relationship? There is a strong correlation between domestic violence and substance abuse. Some of those include: Between 25-50% of men committing domestic violence has a substance abuse problem (Gondolf, 1995). Victims of domestic violence are more likely to receive prescriptions for and become dependent on tranquilizers, sedatives, stimulants, and painkillers and are more likely to abuse alcohol (Stark and Flitcraft, 1988). Women who abuse alcohol or drugs are more likely to be victims of domestic violence (Miller, 1989). Women in recovery are more likely to have a history of violent trauma and are at a high risk of being diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder (Fullilove, 1993). While there is a strong correlation between domestic violence and substance abuse, alcohol and other drugs do not cause domestic violence. Abusers often use substance abuse as an excuse for battering. Intoxicated victims are more likely to be blamed for the domestic violence than sober victims (Aramburu and Leigh, 1991). Sexist attitudes such as; "good women can keep their men happy and prevent domestic violence" contribute to substance abuse in domestic violence cases (Downs, 1993). Some victims will use alcohol and other drugs to "self-medicate" or anesthetize themselves to the pain of their situations. Batterers often get angry when their partner seeks treatment for substance abuse. He may sabotage her treatment because he is losing control over her. He views her treatment as a possible way for her to get away from him. Victims of domestic violence must feel safe before they will be able to work through substance abuse issues. Refuge House will work with clients on safety issues and substance abuse issues. If you are addicted to alcohol or other drugs and you are a victim of domestic violence, Refuge House will provide services. Call the Refuge House at 1-800-500-1119. |
|